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  • Writer's pictureApia

What is happiness if not a choice?

Updated: Aug 27, 2022

Happiness I, Artwork done by contemporary abstract artist Apia
Happiness I Artwork done by Contemporary abstract artist Apia

We all have difficulties in our lives. Some come like a massive truck hitting us hard and invading every part of our existence. Some are mild and creep inside without us noticing until it's too late... And that is the more reason to be vigilant about what is happening. So we can feel the emotions, cry if necessary, let go and make the decision, again and again, choosing happiness.

I was sort of happy before the massive truck hit me first. Never questioned it. I have dealt with issues like everyone. I even was diagnosed with severe depression at 19 and recovered. But still, even after that, didn't grant value to happiness as if it was something that was present and at the same time unattainable. But oh well. How that changed. 

When the first prognosis about my son's life came. They weren't something I would have expected or further even thought, no one had ever received such news (how naïve!). Doctors were saying, he wouldn't survive past x yrs. And if he did, he would never walk, eat on his own, or talk... And all I could think of was, how to get the strength not to fall into a depression again. I had it once and with all this information we were receiving it could pop up again. Was I strong or fragile? I needed to be strong. And I decided to have what I called preventive therapy to check on my status. I needed to be the mom my son needed and needed to be healthy to be that. And life continued. Birthdays continued... My son was growing, we were learning more. He was overcoming prognosis after prognosis. And I learned then that living in the present is the best tool to succeed in life. And with that came the understanding of happiness as a choice. I can choose to be happy in the present. I can choose to enjoy everything a little bit at a time. And that liberated me and led me to a life of true happiness. It is conscious happiness. It's not naïve, is not the euphoria someone would think happiness is. It's life itself being enjoyed as it comes. 

Later another massive truck hit me. And I was able to manage things thanks to this way of thinking. It's not naïve, it allows you to deal with your emotions. It allows you to cry too.


Acrylic on paper


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